Swish (thoughts)

I’m currently preparing a reading list for yet another challenge: The Challenge That Dare Not Speak Its Name. Last month I realised I don’t read enough GLBT lit, so how perfect is this?! And Oscar Wilde’s on the button: I can’t resist that. It doesn’t start until July (so that means the OUAT challenge will be over, which is my unofficial ‘rule’ for joining new challenges, lol), but of course I’ll probably have the reading list up later today! In the mean time, I thought I’d review a memoir I read recently that would be a great choice for this challenge: Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever by Joel Derfner.

I have no clue what I expected when I put this book on my TBR list. In fact, I don’t even know where I heard about it! But what I got was a book that felt like I was chatting with a brutally honest, intelligent, socially awkward, hilarious friend.

Unfortunately, I had to return it to the library, so I can’t include the awesome passages to prove how wonderful his writing style is. You’ll have to take my word for it. But there is even a footnote referencing Middle Egyptian, for all of you other closet footnote lovers out there. :D

Essentially, Derfner writes about his experiences with various stereotypically gay/effeminate behaviors, each of which has a chapter dedicated to it (knitting, casual sex, cheerleading, camp camp, dating, teaching aerobics, musical theater, go-go dancing, and the last and best chapter, in which he goes to a retreat for born-again Christians with homosexual inclinations trying to become straight). But of course the book is about more than that; it’s about Derfner’s life experiences (in the introduction, he expresses his surprise at how, for instance, his mother kept appearing in the knitting chapter) and his own particular view of the world. He’s so honest, so into self examination, and so willing to laugh at himself that the book is really a delight to read. It also tackles tough, important issues, and the chapter when he goes to Exodus was simply brilliant and thought-provoking. Derfner’s had an interesting life, not so crazy that it’s unbelievable, but certainly very different from my own, which is always good in a memoir. But what I loved was his willingness to put it all on the table: Derfner struggles with OCD and since I had a boyfriend with the same condition, I was cheering when I read his mini-rant on people who say “I’m so OCD about washing the floor” or some similar nonsense. (Of course, I can’t just share the passage with you, because I returned the book. Argh! I love my library, but sometimes ownership would come in handy.) He feels incredibly uncomfortable in social gatherings, and in his descriptions of feeling left out or in the less cool group, I saw a bit of myself and most people I know (fortunately, for me, that feeling passes about five to ten minutes into a party, but I have to force myself to talk to those first few people!). And while I don’t often share his secret feeling of intellectual superiority, it made me laugh. :D

I’m rambling, I know; I’m so out of practice when it comes to book reviews. And it feels weird to review a book that’s not sitting next to me! So let me try to sum things up.

Derfner does a great job of getting the reader inside his head; you’ll definitely learn how he experiences his sexuality, mental health, daily jobs, etc. He has an extra helping of wit, especially the mildly snarky kind, but his writing on the people he meets on Exodus shows that he has a lot of sympathy for people as well. There are definitely sexually explicit scenes in this book; it’s not the whole book by any means, but Derfner’s not shy when it comes to the topic. They felt more journalistic/reporting of events than titillating, and they were organic to the parts of the book they were in (i.e.: he didn’t toss in scenes for the heck of it), and while I raised my eyebrows a couple of times, I didn’t feel uncomfortable reading them.

Since I can’t quote from the book, I’m embedding a video of Derfner that will give you a great idea of his tone. :D

You can also read the intro to Swish on Derfner’s site.

As long-time readers know, I have a love-hate relationship with memoirs. But this is one that I loved and wholeheartedly recommend. So what are you waiting for?!